Half Butterfly – Half Wasp

bp2

I know each of you who have read my blog have seen my half butterfly, half wasp picture that I use.   I thought I would explain why I use it and what the picture means to me.

I had it purposely drawn for me by a fantastic artist from where I live, a highschool student with more talent than I will ever have with art.  She is absolutely amazing.  I had a specific idea that I wanted her to draw and she did it perfectly.

It is going to be my first tattoo.  I am not 100% sure when I will be able to get it, but I have wanted it for a very, very, long time.  Financially right now, I have to wait.

I choose the design with a wasp and a butterfly to signify me.  It is how I feel much of the time, like I am two.  It symbolizes my Bipolar Disorder.  One extreme of my mood to the other.

The saying “Just when the caterpillar thought the word was over, it became a butterfly” has some meaning to me because it told me that even though things were so bad and even though I thought I was never going to get through something, I would, and I did.  Kinda like the phoenix rising out of the ashes (another tattoo I would love).  We all go through things in life.  Sometimes they are painful and we feel like we will never survive or get through them. This part of my tattoo deals with the fact that I have survived, I have flourished and I have spread my wings.

I choose the blue morpho butterfly because of its characteristics.  When the wings of a blue morpho butterfly are open they are a bright blue, colorful and full of life.  Much like my mania.  I feel like I can take on the world, I can accomplish things that I normally cannot.

But the blue morpho’s underwings (when they are closed) are brownish with spots that resemble eyes to ward of predators, they hide and blend in.

I have spent a huge part of my life hiding behind things.  Trying to camouflage myself into backgrounds, trying to sink out of existence and blend myself in so well that no one sees me.

The Wasp side of my tattoo will signify the stark difference in my depressive side in comparison to my hypomania or mania.  I spent a lot of time stuck in a sea of depression.

Either way, in either mood, weather it be balance, depression, or mania – I have wings, and those wings help me to fly.

And we all know…..

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About bipolarwhisper

Mental health blogger. Bipolar, PTSD, OCD, Anxiety. Lover of butterflies. Risen out of the ashes like a phoenix. Survivor. Contact me at: Email: bipolarwhispers@gmail.com Twitter: @bipolarwhisper
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12 Responses to Half Butterfly – Half Wasp

  1. splashhhh says:

    I appears you have put a lot of though into your first tattoo. I have always been amazed that people who do that, for some reason or another, must put off their first tattoo while those that are able to go ink seem to put very little or at least shallow thought into it.

    I hope you are able to get it soon and put your signature on the most important place ~ yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bipolarwhisper says:

      Thank you so much. This one has been a couple of years in the planning, a first draft and now the final draft. I have to wait until I am able to get it without causing any financial problems for our family. But I know once I get it, it will be well worth it.

      Like

  2. staystrong10 says:

    The concept (and of course the picture) is amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That was absolutely beautiful. I love the meaning behind the picture. I can relate to it as I’m sure other people suffering from bipolar disorder can as well. It also is an amazing way to explain the illness to those who don’t understand it very well. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Zoe says:

    This is a WONDERFUL and beautifully meaningful creation. I’m glad you shared this in a post along with a bigger image so I void marvel at the details.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. askamwho2 says:

    This is amazing! My first tattoo and only one so far, also because of financial reasons, honors all three of my precious kids. I hope you get to have it soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Miss Misery says:

    The tattoo is beautiful and your meaning behind it is powerful. Getting tattooed is a very spiritual process for me, although I only have two. It is also very addictive! I want more – not for vanity reasons but to represent every aspect of my life and persona. It is a kind of continuous metamorphosis. Some days I can look at my ‘strength’ tattoo on my wrist and be reminded of the strength I already possess and other days-of the strength I strive towards. I hope you are able to get it soon. It was worth the 15 year wait for me-just like going back to college long after high school, I appreciate it more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bipolarwhisper says:

      I can just imagine how addictive it is, I have a folder full of ideas on my computer and I don’t even have one yet lol. Initially my first tattoo was going to be the word Believe on my wrist to remind myself to believe in myself. To remind myself that I have made it through stuff that I never thought I would, so If I just believe I can make it through “this too” kind of thing.

      Liked by 1 person

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