I keep getting a very strong urge to write. But when I begin, I can’t. So if this post does not make sense or is very different from my usual posts forgive me, I am just going to write whatever I feel and it may be a bit random and all over the place.
I feel like I have just jumped off the edge of a cliff and am free falling into some unknown cavern. Anxiety is gripping my heart while my mind is bracing for the impact of hitting bottom, but bottom never comes. I am still free falling, anxiety building higher and higher because I see no end. No landing place.
I feel like my skin is crawling.
I have thoughts that are mixed up, confused. Words and letters are jumbled up in my mind. Like someone took a bag of scrabble letters, shook them and dumped them into a big pile and expected to make sense of them.
Do I feel manic? No. I don’t. I feel mixed. I feel confused. I feel a lot of anxiety, more then I have had in a long long time. I feel frustration. I feel weight. I feel stuck.
I feel pressure.
I feel like my brain is fuzzy.
I am tired, but I am not tired. I am exhausted, but yet I cannot sleep. I do not even want to sleep.
I feel tingly.
I feel a weight pressing down on my chest. A crushing weight.