Anxiety

Sitting here at 2:40 am and all I feel is a terrible heart gripping anxiety.  Anxiety is winning tonight.  I feel it in every part of my body.  My arms, my legs.  But mostly I feel it squeezing my heart, causing it to flutter.  Skipping a beat here and there.  Sending waves of panic through me.

I hate this feeling….trying to act normal when my heart is fluttering and my brain is screaming at me.

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About bipolarwhisper

Mental health blogger. Bipolar, PTSD, OCD, Anxiety. Lover of butterflies. Risen out of the ashes like a phoenix. Survivor. Contact me at: Email: bipolarwhispers@gmail.com Twitter: @bipolarwhisper
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13 Responses to Anxiety

  1. Mark Barkley says:

    I’m praying for you. I appreciate the honesty you’re posting. I have experienced an anxiety like that. It is miserable. To me it’s like I’m attacking myself and I’m powerless to stop it. I’ve learned that just because I’m bring offered panic dies not mean I have to embrace it or even believe on it.

    Like

  2. hbhatnagar says:

    Hope you are feeling better now. If you want to vent, I’m just an email away. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • bipolarwhisper says:

      Thank you. It was the worst anxiety I have had in a long time. It was building over the day some, by 2:30 it was bad, and it continued to get bad until around 4:30 or so, even after taking two ativan that did not seem to even want to take the edge off. I have been having anxiety bad for a while but its been years since it was that bad. And thanks for the offer to chat.

      Liked by 1 person

      • hbhatnagar says:

        I know it’s little help, talking to a stranger, but sometimes, even a little bit helps. Glad you’re feeling better, I know how bad anxiety attacks can be.

        Liked by 1 person

      • bipolarwhisper says:

        I think I had forgotten (or more accurately chosen to push them to the back of my mind and try to forget) just how bad they can get. Its been probably 2 1/2 years since I have had anxiety that was that bad. Back closer to when i was in hospital and first when I got out after being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. It was a year since I took ativan, until recenly, the past 8 weeks or so give or take a bit. Last night in addition to just the butterfly fluttering and squeezing feeling and that mild feeling as if I fell down the stairs, I was experiencing panic and terror and had tears, and was breathing terribly. I had been worst years ago, but this new bout of panic was troubling.

        I think maybe I was just hit full force with the realizations of what my daughter is dealing with and also with the issues I have been having but trying to hide lately.

        Liked by 1 person

      • hbhatnagar says:

        The issues always find a way to burrow out into our conscious mind, no matter how hard we try to bury them. The pounding chest, the sweaty brow, the cold hands, the panting breaths, I too can never forget those attacks. I think I’ve been free fro the worst of those for around 2 years and a half as well. I wish I had better words to say, but I do understand and I hope it gets better for you. These aren’t traumas we can bear again and again. I wish you a peaceful day and a restful sleep ahead. Take care!

        Liked by 1 person

      • bipolarwhisper says:

        Thank you. hugs

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope you feel better today. I hate anxiety, and it is difficult to struggle through.

    Liked by 1 person

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