So I spent the majority of yesterday and the majority of today sleeping. I slept 11 hours Tuesday night, then another two Wednesday afternoon then another 3 (slept off an on) Wednesday evening. By 11:30 Wednesday night I was in bed, and I would say by 12:30 asleep. I Never woke up until about 11 this morning. By 1:15 I was back in bed and slept till after 5.
I woke up in a extremely bad mood.
I have cried off an on several times since yesterday. My emotions are all over the place today. I have been dreaming really bad dreams.
I feel like I have checked out of reality for 2 days and everything around me is a mess. And everything inside me is in a huge shamble. Crumbling. I am hurting, I am crying inside and outside, I am frustrated and I just want to crawl under a rock and cease to be.
I do not know why.
I got upset with my husband over dumb things, I know they are dumb things but I cannot stop myself.
I told him that when I am upset and stuff and something is wrong it would be nice to just ask how I am and want a genuine answer. I also told him that I wish at some point in his life that he has to deal with mental illness within himself because its no a picnic, its harsh.
Truth be told I do not wish mental illness on anyone, I just wish that he would understand sometimes.
I feel in the recent years, that we have drifted….or maybe its just my jaded mind today.