Camp

I haven’t been feeling well the past few days.  Come to find out I missed 3 dosages of my medications.  I have just been dealing with so much stuff that I forgot to take care of myself.  I got a lot of sleep the past few days, but not the feel good kind, more like the kind where I do not want to crawl out of bed or deal with anyone because I just want to cease to exist under a rock or something.

Tonight I am packing up my daughter because she is heading out for two weeks at camp in the morning.  I am nervous as hell about this, but I will not let her know that I am nervous or see that I am nervous for her.  I know she is nervous enough in her own right, so I am playing it cool.  The cool cat momma.  But inside I am screaming.  Anxiety is bad.

He doctor cleared her to go, but still I am scared.

I know I am doing the right thing in letting her go, I actually think that it will be good for her.

I just keep telling myself she will be fine.  We have things set in place for her.  Like she will be rooming with one of her best friends, and she will be in the same group at camp with her.  Also her superior here in her group is at camp, and she knows the situation and is there for her if she needs someone.

I explained to her that if she was not well or something she can just go and tell her that she does not feel well, and she will understand what she means.

The thing is, this camp is out of province.  Its not like she is an hour away and I can go and get her.  It will not be possible to come home on short notice if something happens.

But with that being said if something happens arrangements will be made for her to come home, or whatever is needed.  It is not completely bad.

I have the confidence that she will be fine, so why do I feel so much anxiety over this?

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About bipolarwhisper

Mental health blogger. Bipolar, PTSD, OCD, Anxiety. Lover of butterflies. Risen out of the ashes like a phoenix. Survivor. Contact me at: Email: bipolarwhispers@gmail.com Twitter: @bipolarwhisper
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17 Responses to Camp

  1. lilypup says:

    I think it’s normal to feel very nervous. But it does sound like a great experience for your daughter. I’m sure she’ll have a great time…although she may be homesick at first. I’d remind her it happens to everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hbhatnagar says:

    Because you’re a parent.. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. kat says:

    ditto what hbhatnagar said.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Zoe says:

    Anxiety is a normal parent thing. Not that you don’t have valid reasons to worry, but you also have taken measures to ensure the safest possible environment. One thing my mother made a mistake with was sheltering me and discouraging me from doing things that could have helped me grow. If I was anxious about something, instead of saying, “you may have fun,” she’d go, “well you don’t have to do it. maybe it won’t be fun.” Which led to a lot of my fears becomes so huge that they’re now crippling. It wasn’t her fault, she has very deep issues too, and I don’t blame her either.

    You’re such a brave mom already, encouraging her to pursue a normal life. A life that she has every right to have and aspire to. She’ll be fine. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • bipolarwhisper says:

      Thank you Zoe, that means a lot. I have spent the entire summer telling her how good of a time she was going to have, and meet new friends and experience things that she would not experience here.

      I have been nervous but I have played it cool for her sake.

      I know this can be a very very good learning experience for her and she will get to experience things that she normally would not.

      I am sorry that you had the opposite relationship with your mom, although I can understand her view point too. Sounds like she was validating your fears so that you thought she understood and she did not want to force you to do anything that may in turn cause more anxiety or problems.

      xo ❤

      Like

      • Zoe says:

        Yes. She did it to be understanding. Which is why I don’t feel resentment in the least. My mom isn’t perfect, but she did the best she could and always out of love.

        It takes a lot of strength to do what you’re doing, so please take a moment to congrat yourself for making an effort like that. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • bipolarwhisper says:

        Thanks hun.

        Like

  5. I heard that a parent can only be as happy as their unhappiest child. Having and raising kids is tough.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It is great that you are taking a chance and letting her go. It takes a lot to overcome that kind of anxiety. Hopefully, she will have a fantastic experience.

    Liked by 1 person

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