Sleep Disturbances

Sleep disturbances are a big HUGE part of my bipolar disorder.  The start (in retrospect) of almost all of my manic episodes was a diminished need for sleep.  From going to bed really late to waking a ton each night, getting up really early, to just laying in bed so wide awake with a flight of multiple ideas running non stop through my brain like some messed up film reel.

On the other hand depression can begin with the need for so much sleep.  Sleeping 10-12 hours a night only to get up for a few hours and go back to sleep for 3-5 hours more.  The sleeping too much always brings with it a deeper depression which in turn causes me to sleep even more.

One particularly bad manic phase a few years ago, I slept only 11 hours in 14 days.  Things were turning ugly – and fast.

I was making mistakes at work, talking so fast even my close friends and family were unable to understand the words that were coming out of my mouth.  Sentences were jumbled messes – and I wouldn’t even be able to begin to describe the broken sentences – conversations I was having.  But I will try.

I would begin a sentence, mix up the word order or put totally wrong words in place of other words or even forget simple words.  I would stop mid sentence turn to the right, try to correct my error, start another sentence, go back to the left, finish my first sentence, then turn back to the right to finish the second sentence.

I don’t know if that paragraph even makes sense, but that was what it was like.  I did not make sense.

With so little sleep paranoia would set in pretty quickly.  This particular time I thought everyone who was texting or typing on cell phones was either up to no good, plotting or were even texting about me.  Even strangers.

You can just imagine how bad this got considering the amount of use smartphones get right now.  People are always on them, texting etc.

I was convinced that my husband was hiding something from me.

I was told (after the episode) that at work I was like “someone on crack”.

All of this started with the diminished need for sleep.  I was not tired at all.  I was able to survive on minutes to no sleep every night and was extremely productive at least for the most part.

Then the irritation began…..And that, my friends, is a whole other story.


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