Intense

Today is my birthday.

Normally birthdays pass me by and I couldn’t care less.

Normally It is just another day, one little blip in the 365 day year that just happens to be the day I was born some 30 odd years ago.Normally it means nothing to me, other than being one year older.

Normally I feel nothing towards this day.

Well for some reason today is far from the normal nothing birthdays that I am used to. Today I awoke with a sense of severe anxiety that is only getting worst as the day is progressing.  An intense fear, dread……despair would even be a good word to describe how I am feeling.

I am blinded by how bad this is.

I have been having some issues with anxiety and paranoia over the past little bit, but nothing compares to how bad I am feeling today.

I do not think there is a reason or catalyst for why I feel this badly.  Just maybe every little thing pulling at me at the same time that my emotional self is not able to handle it.  And the tension is causing me to break.

Broken. Crumpled. Trampled.

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About bipolarwhisper

Mental health blogger. Bipolar, PTSD, OCD, Anxiety. Lover of butterflies. Risen out of the ashes like a phoenix. Survivor. Contact me at: Email: bipolarwhispers@gmail.com Twitter: @bipolarwhisper
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12 Responses to Intense

  1. laurietopin says:

    Breathe. It will be okay. Like you originally said, it’s just another day. Tomorrow will be better

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope your day improves so you can enjoy a little bit of birthday cheer. Happy happy birthday to you, and I hope you get some cake!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tessa says:

    Happy Birthday! Sorry you can’t enjoy it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Zoe says:

    Happy Birthday. I know what you’re feeling well. Big hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. hbhatnagar says:

    I hope your birthday ended better than it began. Happy birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy belated birthday! I hope you’ve been able to enjoy some more positive time in the days since the actual occasion! 🙂
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

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