Are you finding yourself not enjoying things that normally bring you joy? Is your sadness deeper than usual?
Here are a few of my personal signs that the depression side of Bipolar Disorder has arrived for me.
Hopelessness: I feel like everything around me is hopeless, everything I do is hopeless, my future is hopeless.
Dread/Disinterest: I have this deep down dread of doing anything outside my home. I have no interest in doing things with my friends, no interest in going to gatherings, and no interest in doing things that I normally take part in.
Irritability: I am irritated. Different irritation than manic irritation. Everything is bothering me and playing on my last nerve and I usually hold it all in until I end up exploding over something and letting it all bubble to the surface.
Sleep: Normally I am sleeping more than normal, but there have been times when I have had the opposite effect and have slept less than normal. More often than not its the sleeping more.
Inadequate: I always feel like I am not enough. Not enough of a wife. Not enough of a mother. That I am not doing a good job at anything. I feel insignificant. Like a speck of dust.
Anxiety: Worry and anxiety over things I normally wouldn’t worry about.
Just a quick update. Bipolar Whispers blog is fully back up and running. As you can see I have changed the theme/layout, all blog posts have the updated signature, some have been edited and some have been deleted.
My posts have been few and far between. As with a lot of things that happen during manic episodes, Bipolar Whispers was started and thrived for a short while and due to a bunch of other reasons became something that got placed on the back burner of my life.
Not for lack of wanting it to become more. Because I would love to have it go back to the thriving place that it once was.
I have debated taking posts down and starting over with republishing and working out the blog a bit better and trying to be more “here”.
After two years with no computer I am finally able to write in peace again.
Well the sleep that has eluded me all this time with this current mania came last night. With all the meds, mood stabilizers and sleeping meds, and more mood stabilizers and more sleeping meds and Seroquel added to the mix (all prescribed and taken as prescribed) I slept between 12-13 hours. Seriously that long.
I feel sluggish this afternoon, since I did just get up long enough to eat lunch. I still feel the need to move quite a bit, like shake my legs etc. I still cannot talk properly, stuttering and mmmmm ing a lot. But I slept, so it has to be a step in the right direction….Right??
The mania has been calmer for a few days, not good, but calmer.