Empowered (Language warning)

Tonight I am empowered.  It did not start off that way, but it has gotten that way pretty quickly.  It actually started with some hurt, some deep hurt within myself, one that I felt should not have been there.  But it soon changed to disappointment.  First at myself and then at someone else.

But now, now it is empowerment.

I learned something hard lately.  That every person who smiles are you is not your friend.  I won’t go into detail. But lets just say…..lesson learned, and learned well.

I have let it go.  Letting it roll off my back like water off an umbrella.  There was a time in my life where I would not have been able to let it go.  Worrying about it, trying hard.

I know I am no longer that person and although I was pretty naive at the time, I no longer am.  And it was a valuable lesson to learn. So I guess I should be thankful that I learned it now.

There has come this point in my life where I no longer care what any one thinks of me.  I mean, I do, deep down to some extent.  BUT the bitchy empowering person that I feel inside me right now….well she says “Fuck It”.

I have actually, FINALLY, let go of a lot of things over the past little bit, and I am going to be absolutely honest, It is the most freeing sensation I have ever felt.

I am happy, I am IN LOVE, I have a wonderful family and I love them, quirks and all.

I refuse to go back to the broken crumbled person that I once was.  And I will definitely not let one person, and one person alone bring me there.

Right now I say, take me as I am, Bipolar and all.  Manic, depressed, mixed, flat.  I am who I am, and take me that way without talking shit behind my back, or don’t take me at all.