feeling off

I feel off….

Not manic, and I would certainly rather be mildly manic than this.

Not quite depression.

But definitely not myself.

Writing

I let my writing fall to the wayside over the past year.  I haven’t written anything seriously in months and have not written anything worthwhile or with substance for this blog in a year or at least pretty close to that.

I feel like I have let myself down, let my blogger friends and readers down and that I really need to start creatively writing again.

I have been told I do my best writing when I just let it flow, when I do not force it to happen and I write from my heart.  I write with depth and meaning when I write from somewhere deep within myself.  Whether that be depression writing or Mania writing or just something more I am honestly not sure where it comes from.  Most times, as I have written in the past my fingers fly over the keyboard or my pen over the paper so freely and so quickly that I just write.

There have been times when I have re-read my writing and not remembered writing it.  Times when I have not recognized the thoughts that my mind put together, not recognized the writing on the page.

Right now I am at a place where I want to write.  I want to create.  I want my ideas and my passions to flow through my writing.  I feel the need to write because writing for me is a form of therapy, one of the best that I can receive and one I can give myself.